Project Sanitarium:Breaking Up is Hard to Do


          We last left project Building of My Sanitarium in the preparation phase. It is now in the Built But Chief Money Maker Still Has Work to Do phase. Which means my room is complete (or mostly so), I have moved in, and the crumb snatchers now have to venture through the garage to find me.

          So here is how we got to this point. Chief Money Maker did a fabulous job of building the wall serving as the divider in our third garage. After eight hours of sweat, two hammered thumb mishaps, one flying nail mishap that almost speared Sweet Pea in the heart, and no less than 3,482 curse words, the wall was completed. To make sure it was safe, we had the youngest crumb snatcher sleep on the floor for several nights and told him to be sure to catch the wall if it fell. (Ok, so we just THOUGHT about doing that.) Instead, I checked each morning for several days to make sure it was still standing, not that I didn’t have FULL confidence in Chief Money Maker’s construction abilities. 


          The next step was painting.  Keeping with the budget theme, I went to Home Depot and asked if they had any cans of paint that they had messed up. Apparently, according to the snotty little paint guy, they prefer that customers call them “mis-tints.” Ok, whatever makes you happy.  So, they didn’t have any “mis-tints” that fit my decorating needs (i.e. something other than the “baby diaper poo” color he offered.) I then went to Lowe’s and asked for mis-tints. They didn’t have any, but offered some that Home Depot had messed up.  Fortunately, my trip to Lowe’s wasn’t a total waste, as we found a carpet remnant that would fit the Sanitarium.

          Unwilling to buy new paint, and unable to find a “mis-tint” color that suited my needs, we rummaged through the various paints we had in our garage. Chief Money Maker located an unopened can of paint.

          “Wasn’t this the paint you bought to stripe the dining room wall that you never striped?” he asked. Stupidly, I might add.

           I examined the can of paint, while Chief Money Maker went inside and examined the new knot I had just placed on his head, and I determined it would work for my new Sanitarium.

          The next step was decorating. Chief Money Maker did more extensive internet research and discovered what has quickly become my new favorite place in the whole entire world. The Habitat for Humanity Restore. It’s like Goodwill and Lowe’s Home Improvement hooked up for a one night stand, and the Habitat for Humanity Restore is their love child. <>


          We walked out with a light fixture, a love seat, a cabinet that I will refinish, some odd and end knick-knacks, and a pair of sunglasses that Chief Money Maker managed to slip by me at check-out. But the jokes on him…I’m taking that $3.00 out of his patio renovation budget.

          I purchased a set of sheers and a rod at Dollar General.  We also found several great yard sale bargains to include a wall mirror and shelves. (Ok, so Chief Money Maker really found them all by himself while I was in Atlanta, but not everyone understands that my husband’s inner David Bromstad occasionally emerges.  Check out David Bromstad here.

          With room painted, items in place, and only a few odd and end touch ups remaining, moving day arrived. Breaking up really is hard to do. We sat the crumb snatchers down and explained that I would be moving out of our home office. We assured them that it wasn’t their fault (even though it partially was) and that both I, and Chief Money Maker, still loved them. We took this opportunity to explain that sometimes…in some situations…things just can’t be worked out. Basically, I said, “Chief Money Maker is a terrible cube mate!” They all had the same question, which would bring tears to even the hardest-hearted of human beings. “Will you still feed us?” they asked. With tears in my eyes, I assured them I would.

          Then I ran off and locked myself in my new office and savored the silence…for about three minutes before the crumb snatchers started arriving to check it out. I had hoped that the fifteen extra steps to the garage would impact their efforts to seek me out, given that teenagers are historically known to be a tad lazy unless in immediate danger of starving to death, but it apparently had no impact on ours. Now I have to make a trip back to the Habitat for Humanity Restore and purchase a door knob with a lock.

          All in all, our project remained economical. The final total was $253.51, which came in at $53.51 over budget. If you take out the five gallons of bleach we used to wash the boards, we are still over budget. But if you take out the five gallons of bleach, AND the miscellaneous yard sale items Chief Money Maker purchased, then yep, we are still over budget. BUT, if you factor in the fact that we had a great excuse to avoid going out with Aunt Sassy and picking up her bar tab, then we definitely saved money! And you really can’t place a price on my sanity. (Well, actually you can. It’s about $150 month for a therapist, Xanax prescription, and hair extensions to replace the strands I’ve pulled out.) 

          So there it is…the Sanitarium is done.  And you have just read the first blog produced from my new writing studio. I think it’s time to stretch out on the love seat and take a nap before the crumb snatchers get home.

© 2011 CThacker


4 thoughts on “Project Sanitarium:Breaking Up is Hard to Do

  1. I hate to point this out, but I think you made a mistake which could potentially save you far more than the $250 +. Take your stuff out of that room, put a sectional, a televsion and a refrigerator in there. You will have the entire house to yourself and if you place the lock in the door in a fashion aforementioned by “chief money maker” there is no telling how much money you could save!

  2. I have secured a lock for Mama Bread Baker’s Sanitarium. What she doesn’t realize is that I will be putting the lock on the outside of the door to keep her in. Also, I found another carpet remnant to pad the walls for her newfound hideaway.

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