It seems like just yesterday I was bemoaning the fact that the crumb snatchers were out of school for the summer. Ok, so actually it WAS yesterday and every day of summer break. But, school resumes August 6th and I’m as giddy as a trailer park bride on her first shopping trip with her new “Big Daddy’s” credit card!
The summer flew by quickly. I’m remorseful that I didn’t accomplish all the goals I set at the beginning. We ticked off a trip to the Pink Palace, a day at Pickwick, a beach vacation, and identified most of the strains of algae growing in the man cave. Unfortunately, we ran out of time before we could visit the Civil Rights Museum, or tag the source of the mordacious odor in the mini-van.
Milestones were reached this summer. Wolfy obtained his learner’s permit and has been driving Chief Money Maker up and down Bartlett’s sidewalks ever since.
The Nephew flew from the nest after we shoved him out and now resides in a Midtown apartment with a friend. And, because being one talking dog away from a sitcom wasn’t enough, we now have Manning the cat.
I’ve never owned a cat—but I hear neither has anyone else. It has been a 3:30 in the morning, something has pounced on Chief Money Maker’s face scaring the bejeezus out of him experience. I have also learned to check around corners for this mini panther before exposing my remaining toes. Jumper the Dog, once ruler of the corner section of the sofa, now gracefully bows to the gentle “no-no” pats from Manning as he lounges in Jumper’s former spot. I’ve shown the cat the house deed identifying us as the owners, but he’s disinterested in this information.
This last week of summer will be filled with to-do lists, shopping lists, school supply lists, and large swigs from “Mommy’s special juice cup”, although I don’t think I’m fooling the crumb snatchers with that one any longer. We’ll venture out for Tax Free Weekend to snag supplies and clothes. I did a quick browse of the Tennessee Department of Revenue’s tax free directory to make sure the items on our list were exempt.
I was surprised to learn that protective wear—defined as items for human wear and designed as protection of the wearer against injury or disease or as protections against damage or injury of other persons or property—is not covered. Maybe they set off the school’s metal detectors? However, garters, garter belts, girdles, bras, and corsets are covered. That’s as ludicrous as Paula Dean heading up a New York City tourism council. “Hey ya’ll. Come on out and visit us and take a ride on our underground choo-choos!”
As we approach the glorious Back to School season, I’ll leave you with George Washington Carver’s words of wisdom—“Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.” If it also unlocks the mystery of the odoriferous smell in the mini-van, I’d be ecstatic.
© 2012 CThacker