SWF Blogger Without Cake Habit Seeks Subscribers

3 Comments

The first day of August marked the 1st birthday of The Crumb Snatcher Tales.  Unfortunately, there are no cute pictures of me in a high chair, sans shirt, cramming chocolate cake into my mouth.  There are only blurry pictures of that celebration.

Liam's First Birthday Party

Liam is much cuter than me sans shirt.

Since the blog’s inception, it has been hit 6,736 times and has gained a readership base of 338 followers.  Statistics show that I’ve secured 5% of the readers that have visited my blog.  If you subtract the times I’ve snagged unattended phones and hit up the blog on its browser, then that percentage skyrockets.  I should also get bonus points for securing Barry Parham as a subscriber.  See, Parham here’s got a job.  Parham’s got prospects.  He’s bona fide!

My top 3 posts were:

                                Boo-boos, Band-Aids, and Bumper Benders – A heart-wrenching account of Sweet Pea’s first vehicular accident.  I must warn you, the pictures attached with this blog aren’t for the faint of heart. 

                                Hey Blue, Are You Blind? And Other Things Sports-Parent Related – An informative piece on how parents should properly conduct themselves while attending sports events.  It also explains how the United American Men’s Right Field Club – also  known as BUBBAS – originated.                               

                                The Great Pizza Sauce Mystery – Sadly, this case still remains unsolved.  Authorities, when asked to comment for this anniversary edition, stated “We know someone, somewhere, knows something.  We believe the perpetrator is still out there and we won’t stop until justice is served.  Or until our shift is over.” 

My blog, “I Can See The Headline Now:  Woman Training for 2106 Olympics Eaten by Shark,” was Freshly Pressed on August 10th, 2012.  That garnered 703 views, 48 likes, 37 comments, and upped marshmallow consumption by 499.83% 

Here are some fun search terms that people typed to land on my blog:

  •  “Stick figure walking fat”
  • “Psychotic meds”
  •  “Should baseball umpires were protective cups”
  • “How to smuggle a skunk” 

And <drum roll, please>

  • “Sexy sadist with cake habit” – Three people landed on my blog through this search term.  Milk a wha???  Surprisingly, no one landed on my site by typing in “Milk a wha???”                

               

And finally, the 3 posts I enjoyed writing the most: 

 “We Must Stop the Curse”

 “The Whoopty-Do About the Whoopty-Do”

 “How an Automatic Firing Nerf Gun Lost the War” 

I would like to thank all my loyal readers and I hope I can continue to entertain you with another year of Crumb Snatcher Tales.  However, it costs a significant amount of money to bring these stories to you week after week.  That’s why today, operators are standing by to receive your generous pledges.  Even the smallest contribution can help. 

                “What’s that Jerry?  An anonymous donor has agreed to match all pledges received in the next 10 minutes?  That is wonderful news!” 

If you can’t donate monetarily, and really you can’t because WordPress doesn’t allow it, then you can help by spreading the word about Crumb Snatcher Tales.  Please use your preferred social media method to share YOUR favorite Crumb Snatcher Tale.  I would love to reach the goal of 500 subscribers by then end of this anniversary month! 

Comment below and tell me what you’ve enjoyed the most about Crumb Snatcher Tales, and then share my blog with 3 friends or Evil Stalker Kitty will hurt you.

Evil Cat - Veruca Version

You bring my human new subscribers or you die! Evil Cat – Veruca Version (Photo credit: INTVGene)

©2012 CThacker

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3 thoughts on “SWF Blogger Without Cake Habit Seeks Subscribers

  1. Congrats! If I had 700+ readers come to one of my posts, I would probably, well, do the same. I am so glad you mentioned the search terms that lead people to your blog. Mine are milf-dom and beach erection.

  2. Chief Money Maker say congratulations on a fairly successful first year of of your writing career. Consider that within a single year, you have now added the following accomplishments to your resume: Publicly recognized blogger, a regular Columnist and freelance reporter for a couple of newspapers, Short-listed finalist in national writing contest, started a new novel, and a stint as a freelance SEO writer. I would say that’s a pretty good start for Mama Bread Baker. Congrats! ! !

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