Yeah, I know I’m a day behind, but give me a break. I just came off a 6 day game of Hide-and-Seek and I Spy.
Recently, I learned that there are certain individuals who believe I have a super power and I use it for evil manipulation. That super power is the use of “Vocabulary.”
That’s probably the highest praise my writing has received to date.
You see, to take words and group them in such a way to transfer the author’s thoughts to paper, then transfer from paper to the mind of the reader, without any loss to the original intent, indeed, is an artful and skillful feat. One could call it manipulation, but most people call it communication.
Maybe I should try my super power at Mickey D’s to score a free apple pie.
“Excuse me, can you watch my mouth while I speak to you.” [That’s how you activate the super power when you can’t use email.]
Then I’d lick my plump lips, triggering my super-duper Vocabulary power, and say,
“I’m of the recent persuasion that my nutritional needs require the ingestion of sustenance comprising warmed fruit compote wrapped in a baked, flaky tartlet.”
Miss Would-You-Like-Fries-With-That would be mesmerized by my words and would robotically turn to the warming area to grab an apple pie and toss into my bag along with my calorie-laden and cholesterol saturated #8 combo.
To be honest, I’m not trying to manipulate anyone. I simply desire to communicate thoughts utilizing a collection of words designed to convey meaning. But it appears my multi-syllabic word choices give off the wrong impression.
“Really? Because I used the word ‘exacerbate’?”
“Yeah. They think you just make words up.”
I was speechless for 23.5 seconds, which just so happens to be my personal best.
“So you’re telling me
that because I’m literate,
someone believes I’m trying to manipulate them…
with the English language…
THEIR NATIVE TONGUE?”
Granted, text speak has dumbed down our vocabulary but it’s got me a little scared to orate with populaces. What would they deliberate if I articulated that I was to be matriculated by the university soon?
I asked Chief that question and he said, “Ain’t nobody gonna matriculate you but me!”
Maybe we should encourage more use of Dictionary.com’s Word of the Day app.